I am a woman of many, many words. This I know. But lately I just have not had a lot to say. Maybe I am having a Mary moment and just pondering all these things in my heart, but for the "record," here it is:
I am starting a new job. It's a good job, but I don't have any feelings about it. I'm a driven woman. But I just don't care. Am I suddenly dead inside?
I had to hire a new nanny because Shelly is having a baby soon, and once my job starts, I am going to be in training for 40 hours a week for a few weeks. Not great timing. So, I sent an ad to the only place I trust ... my relief society sisters, and within a few hours I had a new nanny. She's great, but I'll miss Shelly. And I'll hate missing 4 weeks of my girls' lives while I am up in Salt Lake from 9 to 5. Maybe that is what is making me feel dead inside. It is better to just not feel it. That is one of my main day care philosophies ... don't think to hard about it, or it will sting you.
But deep down I know Kenna will walk when I am not there to see it, and that makes me want to sit here and ponder these things in my heart... with a dagger. It also makes me want to eat fresh honey, so I can have something special in my life or something that makes me feel different or special or happy.
So, I want to be a bee keeper. I want honey in my backyard. I want to be able to add honey to my oatmeal every morning without worrying about it being on sale. I think being a bee keeper would be a great way to combine my passion for honey as a sugar substitute, my passion for working and eating close to the earth, and my unbridled passion for free stuff. Buzz, buzz let's do it. We'll have to see what Tim says. When I asked him for a piglet, he was not so keen.
And if he says, "No, thank you," I'll still have Lindsay and Lizza and our new bond over essential oils. Tim calls them the crazy oils, and Lindsay's man jokes, "She's in the oil business." But we ladies love them. They make us feel healthy and whole and hopeful and happy to find new truth and care about something together. Buzz, buzz, pass the lavender and peppermint, it is going to be a long month.
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There's a company in SLC that let's you try beekeeping for a year with one of their hives. They come and take care of it and train you along the way, then you can decide if it's for you or not. So you could tell Tim that it's a pretty short term commitment especially if he doesn't have to do anything for it! I love your posts, just so you know.
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