Oh, Dear Me...

The tail of my trickery in finding the newest piece to my infertility puzzle ... for free!


So, I am a genius. I was having some abdominal pain a.k.a. a lot of tummy aches, so I went to see a doctor of internal medicine a few weeks ago. He did a bunch of blood work. It all came back negative, of course, so I was back to square one. I went to a follow up with him on Tuesday, and he basically had nothing to say. Since I haven't been in much pain the last few week (accept for some sharp pain in my ovary areas) I didn't have the energy to really keep him looking for the source of the problem. But at the last minute, he wanted to examine my stomach. He pushed around, and the last push HURT. I told him, "Um, you're hurting me. What is that?" "That, right there?" "Yes, that. It hurts." "There isn't supposed to be anything there," he said. "But, yes, I see that there is." (Genius)

He told me to get a CT scan. I asked him a few times if it was necessary, and he kind of gave me the, "Yeah, probably we should do it." I was thinking you are a quack who didn't know there was something there until I said something. BUT, the CT scan pictures include the female organs, so I thought, What a great way to get a free fertility test!! I am a genius (as previously stated.)

I was very close to canceling the appointed because I kept gagging on the chalky drink that I had to take to makes my insides light up, but I just went for it anyway. The appointment was a no brainer, and I was home for a play date with Melissa by 10 a.m.

But by 2 p.m. I got a call from a number that looked like a doctor's office, and I started freaking out. I got the message, and it was my doctors office with my results. Well, as most people know you do not get called for a negative result. I totally started freaking out, which is not so hot on my stomach. My sister and I ball up inside -- very quickly -- when we sense stress. It is not pretty, but we are in it together. I called the doctor's office and actually hung up the first time. Very not like me, but whatever. I called back.

The woman on the phone said in a confused voice, "Yeah, we got your results, and you have cysts on your ovaries." Oh, dear me. That sure explains a lot. There are four of them. I don't know yet if it is PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) or not. It could be related to the Clomid this mouth or to my horrible menstrual cramps. I might not be ovulating. I might be ovulating late. It could have nothing to do with anything.

So, it is all very confusing. I have a lot of questions and a lot to figure out about what this means for me and our efforts for a family of four. So, I guess this adds another car to the infertility train, All aboard -- "Toot, Toot."

I am overwhelmed at the idea of dealing with this forever. But as pointed out by one of my cousins yesterday in my line of faith, we truly believe that what does not kill you makes you better, happier, more aware and more prepared for life in the world to come. I have blessings coming out of my ears. And if I have to buy my next several children from Romania, so be it.

Thanks, still and always, to my wonderful friends and sisters, mothers and cousins for all your love.

And a shout out to the most beautiful nieces this side of the state line. All babies are miracles, and these are two of my favorites.