IUI Update: lying, crying and clomid

Warning: Graphic Fertility Update. Not for sensitive eyes or for the faint of heart. 

No more babies yet. Round two of the IUI didn't take. I found out on my birthday, which you could probably imagine as a horrible experience. But it wasn't as sad as some months. I've been on an amazing and relaxing summer vacation, so maybe that acting as a buffer between me and my true feelings. 

But I did become a crazy person for a few hours when I called the nurse and lied to her so that I could get for aggressive treatments for next month. Not really my style. I told her I started on Friday, when I didn't start until the next day. She would have given me the medicine without the lie. So basically I risked my eternal soul for nothing. It wasn't worth it. 

But when I tried to justify it, Tim pointed out that the last time I got close to lying (OK, lying) was also for my children. It was for Quinn in the hospital after she was born, when the nurse wouldn't let me take her home until she had "two more good feedings." This was a total farce because she was perfectly healthy, already on a schedule, and had just eaten right before the nurse told me this. So, I did what any self-respecting mother would do. I went in there an hour later and overfed my baby, and then I went back and hour after that and hid behind a screen with my sister. She lied to the nurse for me and told her I was nursing back there. It was proud moment in my motherhood -- the moment where I truly became Quinn's advocate at all costs. 

And in general I feel like I have every right to be an advocate for this unborn, un-conceived baby, but I guess I found my limit because I felt horrible about this lie for days. I eventually called and made my peace with the nurse. I really am crazy. But at least now I am crazy and at peace ... sort of. 

So, the actual update for this month is that I am on Clomid. This is a first for me, and I am a little nervous (mostly because of the lying fiasco but whatever). When you take Clomid, you take one pill on days 3 through 7 of your cycle. I started yesterday and have three more pills to go. The goal of the Clomid is to help your ovary ovulate. In some cases the ovary the ovary will get over stimulated by the Clomid and will release two eggs -- Twins. But this is not actually that common. Most multiple births from fertility drugs come from a different drug that is administered through injections. But still, there is a whole list of side affects to using Clomid, but hopefully the only one I will get is a baby. Seems that worst case says I might get moody, fat or dizzy for five days. I can do anything for five days. So far I have not felt any differently except that I had a sharp pain for like 10 seconds on my left side yesterday. No biggie. I am in it to win it. So whatever. 

Another more urgent goal for trying the Clomid is that I think it might make my cycle shorter. I'm trying to fit two more inseminations in before Tim leaves for tour on Sept. 15. By then it will be time for more tests that Tim does not need to be around for. But as long as we are talking about bad news -- my UVU medical insurance will run out at the end of June which means I need to be pregnant by mid October or so. Yikes. I'll find a way to make it work. I always do. Or -- I guess -- God does.