Not Much to Say but Lots to Do

I've suddenly become a woman of few words. I have nothing to write and not much to say. It happens to me with pregnancy. I go into auto pilot. Maybe it comes from peace of mind. Not sure. But when I'm pregnant, I don't have much to say.

Well, not much.

Pregnant or not, you all know one of my favorite topics is infertility. It's not my favorite thing by any means, but it really is a topic I care about because it sucks so badly and has so many dead ends for the people involved. So in between teaching 9 classes and trying not to barf all day, I am trying to create a way to help people who are still hoping to become mothers (for the first time or again.)

I've written in the past about some of the intrinsic emotional problems with infertility. Loneliness, fear, anger, jealousy, lack of knowledge, insensitive neighbors and the list goes on. There are Web sites and people out there that try to tackle some of these, but I've decided that the thing women need most that can actually be offered is support and help when it comes to getting medical help.

I believe that women deserve medical attention and care WHENEVER they feel they need it. Most women are told to try for at least a year before they call the doctor. By this point, though, some women get so messed up in the head that the medical process becomes almost too much to bare even though they want the help so badly. Women should be able to call after three months of trying to conceive and say, "My gut tells me something is wrong" or "I don't want to wait another minute." If doctors can do something, they should. When I look at the crazy job infertility does on a women's emotions, and therefore entire life, I see that there is no reason she should be ask to wait for help or support. I hate to be crude, but if a man wanted Viagra, he would not have to prove he'd tried for a year or anything else. He would just get what he wants. Well, I believe Clomid is at least that important to some women. I wanted a baby a year ago, and there is no good reason that I should have had to wait if I didn't want to. Clomid got me pregnant now. It could have gotten me pregnant then. Why the wait? Obviously the doctors have some reason, but I do not accept their reasons because I do not think that it balances appropriately with the pain that it causes women.

Whoa! Deep breath. With that said, I am currently working with a few friends and doctors to create a support system to get women the medical care they need when they want it. When women want a baby and can't get one, they become so emotional that they often can't stand up for themselves, ask the right questions or insist that they get what they deserve from doctors and nurses. This organization will find advocates for women who can help them find the right doctor, make an appointment, deal with insurance, ask the right questions, and put up a fight (when it needs to happen.) When I, personally, help other people, I can think so much more clearly. When they help me, it is the same, but the very nature of infertility is that women become crazy people trying to help themselves. And that, by nature, is problematic.

There is a lot to it, and it will take a lot of time. But I am pretty dedicated. When I got pregnant with Quinn (after more pain then I thought I could ever bare), I prayed that I would never forget the pain and that I would be able to help people who felt that same pain. I think I sort of forgot (a little) with time, and wham.... it started all over again. This time I am serious: I will not forget. I feel like I have enough time invested in this issue that I can't just turn my back. Plus, I love so many people who are involved.

So, the organization will be called Baby Bump in the Road, and you will all be hearing more about it. I have the design for the Web site ready to go, and I am looking for a generous Web master who has an infertile wife and a desire to serve. I already have the blogger name, and I might just launch a temporary site soon as a souped-up blog.

So, really if it were not for infertility, I would have nothing to say right now. Good thing I didn't get pregnant the first time I tried or else I would be very boring.



If you know someone who would benefit from Baby Bump in the Road right now, please just have them email me at jillfellow@gmail.com, and I will get them set up ASAP. Again, I am not a big fan of waiting... for anything.


Help Wanted:
Web designer
Logo designer
Women who have experienced the craziness of infertility
Doctors who want to learn to be more sensitive and write a lot of prescriptions
T-shirt makers (we wear our issues on our sleeves at Baby Bump)
People who can make bracelets out of embroidery thread
Donors to pay for the site server.

To "Apply" email me at jillfellow@gmail.com