Skinny Minnie

So, I lost a lot of weight this year. Whatever. People say I look better, but I am just annoyed that my pants don't fit.

But another real issue is, I don't want weight to be an issue. It really messes people up. It really messes me up. I know people who can't think about much else in life. They make weight and weight loss the most important thing in life, and I just don't believe it is even at that top of the list. So I sort of praise myself in having a healthy life but not caring about my weight ... especially for the next 10 years of child baring (fingers crossed for that.)

Anyway, people -- mostly people who not know we that well -- are always commenting about my weight (loss). My first reaction is to be a little offended because they are basically telling me I was fat before, and I never felt that way at the time. I have found that I didn't start noticing or caring about the weight loss until people kept commenting on it as if something was wrong with me and I fixed it, thank Heaven. It actually makes me think that people thought I was fat before, and then, naturally, I get all worried that I'll pork up again. I am probably being over sensitive, so I choose to not be offended at all. But really I would never mean to make someone feel that way on purpose.

I wish we could all be reprogrammed to let women be whatever size they need to be and at the same time think they are beautiful and special and wonderful regardless. If we could learn to do it for other people, it would be easier to be able to do it for ourselves. And hopefully a lot more happiness would come into the lives of many people.

Now, I get it: there are people who comment on my weight just because they are trying to be nice or trying to make a personal connection or trying to show love or they want my diet plan. I get that, and I am grateful for it. But it still does offer a social commentary on what we expect from women, and it makes me sad.

I was reading on Babycenter.com the other day that a huge percentage of pregnant women are worried that they are the wrong size during pregnancy-- either too big or too small. The article said that most people would think they were just fine, but people keep telling them, "Oh, you are so big for 20 weeks" or "You're small for 25 weeks." Someone in the article said, "Wouldn't it be nice if we could walk up to pregnant women and just say they look great." Just let it be.

With that in mind, I am no saint. I, of course, was telling my friend Lindsay the other day how huge her belly looks this time around at 32 weeks. She agreed, and we had a great chat and a good laugh. I know she wasn't offended. Or was she? I guess there is a time and place for everything. But I am going to try to think a lot harder about pointing out people's past issues. Like it is obvious to most people that you would not go up to someone and say, "Wow, thank heaven that ache cleared up. That was hard to look out, but now you look great. Let's be friends."

I once told a friend who I had not scene in awhile, "Wow, you lost weight. You look amazing. How great!" Do you know what she said? It was a huge eye opener. "It's not great at all. My fiance broke up with me, and I got so depressed and didn't eat. I'd rather be fat and have him back. There is nothing good about this weight loss." Now, she's a little sharp and that is a little personal for a friend that is not that close, but she has a point.

It's just something to think about.

I got some awesome new maternity jeans this weekend. They fit great. Everything else I had was too tight or too small. Got to love standing in front of your college class on the first day with your pants falling down. And only for the sake of my female parts and my bladder, I do hope this baby stays smaller than Quinn. Amen.