100th Post!

I am not one for counting or caring, but I just looked at my archives and noticed that "Are You My Mother?" from a few days ago was my 100th post on Owner of the Band. I just wanted to take this milestone to check in with all of you about my blog tag line and then share some very deep and rather ironic thoughts that I am still too scared to mention to my midwives.

So first of all here is a status on what I claim to be. A lady who:

• loves babies -- In spite of the constant complaining, I assure you that I am still completely in love with make children. I love children as a whole, love my own "children," and while I hate infertility with a bloody (literally) passion, I love what it has taught me and who it has helped me become. I plan to make babies for as long as humanly possible. I even love babies when they skipped their nap, went to bed early with hot chocolate milk in a bottle and are currently screaming at my to "get out" a 6 p.m. at night. (Love them and will ignore them...)
  
• sustains womanhood -- Obviously, I love the part of womanhood that makes babies. But I am also so passion about the part of womanhood that nurtures the world in and outside of the family unit. I believe women naturally have a sensitivity that we can use and harness to bring peace and happiness to the world. We are powerful, we are strong, and we are getting more powerful and strong as we gain the support of governments, laws, and each other. So cool. This is a sisterhood and a divine role that I would not give up for anything.
  
• believes in yoga -- As I said earlier this week, I love it and need more of it. My most coveted getaway is a yoga-themed cruise to anywhere. I would love to spend a week basking in the power and peace of yoga and communing with all the crazies who love it too. Can't afford a cruise? I'll settle for a yoga wilderness retreat, a day-long seminar, or on a busy week even just a crappy Gold's Gym class. I love a downward facing dog with or without a baby pulling my hair out while I do it. Yoga helps me become the baby-raising woman I know I can be.
  
• USED to own a rock band -- Yes, we owned a rock band, and it was fun. Then we gave it away in exchange for both temporal and spiritual peace of life and mind. We lost $100,000 and never looked back. We are a couple who follows our dreams. We're doers, not talkers, and I love it. I'd do it again and again. And if we switch careers yet again in two years, so be it. Oh the stories I'll have to tell as I continue to strongly and passionately OWN my live for all it can be. ROCK on!
  

Happy 100th Anniversary to Me!!

Now for the "deep and rather ironic thoughts that I am still too scared to mention to my midwives" as I promised above:

I want my Clomid! When will you give it to me?

Yes, you heard it here folks, in the middle of all the aches and pains, I am family planning. When will they give me the clomid, so I can keep this baby train going? Cho-Cho! I have not made any official plans yet because I really do have some important questions for my "Health Care Provider," and part of those questions involve finding the doc who will give me what I want when I want it.

So first I am waiting for a doctors appointment where I am not recovering from bleeding or depression or something horrible that will make them look at me and say, "Up her dosage."

I plan to reasonably and responsibly find out what my midwives think is too soon to have #3, when I would have to stop nursing to get on Clomid, how the Zoloft and other complications factor in to the next pregnancy and all that Jazz. But I am not messing around.

When I decided to start insemination, I emailed a good friend of mine who was living in Mexico for the summer, I declared to her as I will to you now, that I believe the happiest things in my life will come from baring and raising my children. I want lots. I want them now, and I plan to be pregnant or trying for the next 10 years. I love it. I want it to be who I am because, again, it makes me happy.

So, if Clomid makes this possible: Cho-Cho!! I am on board. I am not going to "sort of try" to get prognant for the next 10 years. I think that will make me miserable like it did in rounds one and two. Now, it is very possible that after I have McKenna, I will want a break, and if I do, I will take one. But the truth is, I wanted to be pregnant again 2 days after I got home with Quinn. I am only preparing for what I know is in my heart.

As for timeline details, if I get pregnant again in September, the babies would be 1 year apart, and my UVU insurance would pay 100% of baby #3 just in time for me to retire as planned in July 2010. That is the earliest I would consider getting knocked up again. There are plenty of down sides to that nearly impossible plan, but lots of upsides too. The other end of my window is March 2010. If I am not pregnant my then, I'd be very sad.

So, wish me luck as I either convince someone to write me a prescription or knock someone over the head and steel it. There is me owning my life again. Ha! Love it!

Thanks for reading and following me on my wild ride. Hold on to your hats and glasses folks, it is only going to get better.





P.S. Sorry I don't have a cool giveaway for this big occasion, but I gave most everything I have to the band, and what is left is reserved for this chocolate-faced 2 year old with no pants who is now out of bed and playing with my "nice" jewelry.