100th Post!

I am not one for counting or caring, but I just looked at my archives and noticed that "Are You My Mother?" from a few days ago was my 100th post on Owner of the Band. I just wanted to take this milestone to check in with all of you about my blog tag line and then share some very deep and rather ironic thoughts that I am still too scared to mention to my midwives.

So first of all here is a status on what I claim to be. A lady who:

• loves babies -- In spite of the constant complaining, I assure you that I am still completely in love with make children. I love children as a whole, love my own "children," and while I hate infertility with a bloody (literally) passion, I love what it has taught me and who it has helped me become. I plan to make babies for as long as humanly possible. I even love babies when they skipped their nap, went to bed early with hot chocolate milk in a bottle and are currently screaming at my to "get out" a 6 p.m. at night. (Love them and will ignore them...)
  
• sustains womanhood -- Obviously, I love the part of womanhood that makes babies. But I am also so passion about the part of womanhood that nurtures the world in and outside of the family unit. I believe women naturally have a sensitivity that we can use and harness to bring peace and happiness to the world. We are powerful, we are strong, and we are getting more powerful and strong as we gain the support of governments, laws, and each other. So cool. This is a sisterhood and a divine role that I would not give up for anything.
  
• believes in yoga -- As I said earlier this week, I love it and need more of it. My most coveted getaway is a yoga-themed cruise to anywhere. I would love to spend a week basking in the power and peace of yoga and communing with all the crazies who love it too. Can't afford a cruise? I'll settle for a yoga wilderness retreat, a day-long seminar, or on a busy week even just a crappy Gold's Gym class. I love a downward facing dog with or without a baby pulling my hair out while I do it. Yoga helps me become the baby-raising woman I know I can be.
  
• USED to own a rock band -- Yes, we owned a rock band, and it was fun. Then we gave it away in exchange for both temporal and spiritual peace of life and mind. We lost $100,000 and never looked back. We are a couple who follows our dreams. We're doers, not talkers, and I love it. I'd do it again and again. And if we switch careers yet again in two years, so be it. Oh the stories I'll have to tell as I continue to strongly and passionately OWN my live for all it can be. ROCK on!
  

Happy 100th Anniversary to Me!!

Now for the "deep and rather ironic thoughts that I am still too scared to mention to my midwives" as I promised above:

I want my Clomid! When will you give it to me?

Yes, you heard it here folks, in the middle of all the aches and pains, I am family planning. When will they give me the clomid, so I can keep this baby train going? Cho-Cho! I have not made any official plans yet because I really do have some important questions for my "Health Care Provider," and part of those questions involve finding the doc who will give me what I want when I want it.

So first I am waiting for a doctors appointment where I am not recovering from bleeding or depression or something horrible that will make them look at me and say, "Up her dosage."

I plan to reasonably and responsibly find out what my midwives think is too soon to have #3, when I would have to stop nursing to get on Clomid, how the Zoloft and other complications factor in to the next pregnancy and all that Jazz. But I am not messing around.

When I decided to start insemination, I emailed a good friend of mine who was living in Mexico for the summer, I declared to her as I will to you now, that I believe the happiest things in my life will come from baring and raising my children. I want lots. I want them now, and I plan to be pregnant or trying for the next 10 years. I love it. I want it to be who I am because, again, it makes me happy.

So, if Clomid makes this possible: Cho-Cho!! I am on board. I am not going to "sort of try" to get prognant for the next 10 years. I think that will make me miserable like it did in rounds one and two. Now, it is very possible that after I have McKenna, I will want a break, and if I do, I will take one. But the truth is, I wanted to be pregnant again 2 days after I got home with Quinn. I am only preparing for what I know is in my heart.

As for timeline details, if I get pregnant again in September, the babies would be 1 year apart, and my UVU insurance would pay 100% of baby #3 just in time for me to retire as planned in July 2010. That is the earliest I would consider getting knocked up again. There are plenty of down sides to that nearly impossible plan, but lots of upsides too. The other end of my window is March 2010. If I am not pregnant my then, I'd be very sad.

So, wish me luck as I either convince someone to write me a prescription or knock someone over the head and steel it. There is me owning my life again. Ha! Love it!

Thanks for reading and following me on my wild ride. Hold on to your hats and glasses folks, it is only going to get better.





P.S. Sorry I don't have a cool giveaway for this big occasion, but I gave most everything I have to the band, and what is left is reserved for this chocolate-faced 2 year old with no pants who is now out of bed and playing with my "nice" jewelry.

On a much happier note... A Baby Shower!

So, the other night my girlfriends and I were ditching a church activity and talking in the car about everything from make-up to baby names. They all seem to follow at least one stranger's blogs because the person posts all about the amazing crafts they sell and parties they throw... not my style... and they know it ... so we had a good laugh about it. When I told Melissa this morning that I was going to take pictures of the big event I threw for my dear friend Lindsay, she reminded me to BLOG ABOUT IT! So, here is the event ... Jill style ... the successes and the failures!


It started out as a Costco style menu -- easy to do, but kind of price for a one man show. I was off to buy the goods on Thursday, shoes on and all, when I noticed I only had $26 left in my bank account. New plan.

I rewrote the menu pretty fast. Have you ever spent less than $26 at Costco?

I decided to use this poor-woman's chance to decorate with food by making some pretty cakes. I baked for days, and this --Zoloft and all -- is what I came up with.




The colors were light blue and green. Here is the main food table complete with three cakes, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, chips and salsa (at the new mom's request) and - my personal favorite - ranch dip and veggies.





There were SUPPOSED TO BE 4 cakes. It was supposed to be a circle, two squares and a triangle. As you can see, the triangle didn't survive!!





Rest in Peace my little cake...





On to some successes... my clothes line with onesies turned out much better than the triangle cake.





For the sake of record keeping, here is the punch table. A punch bowl with Country Time lemonade, ice, frozen blueberries, and a few lemon slices.





Already dilated to a 4 1/2 ... Lindsay was ready for the party to start... and end... We've been joking for days that she only needed to keep that baby in until 3 p.m. on Saturday. Isn't she beautiful? Her baby Bennett and my new baby girl will only be a few months apart. We are so excited.





And when all was said and done by 3 p.m. Saturday, Lindsay had seen tons of people she loves, celebrated this new baby, and really collected some cute new stuff. One of my favorite gifts was the blanket in this picture. It was embroidered with "Bennett Roger." It came with burp clothes that said, "Benny." Loved them!

Love Lindsay! Loved throwing her a shower!


P.S. After everyone left, Tim brought Quinn home from their "date." I had suggested he take her to an indoor play place. He made other plans that apparently bored Quinn (A business meeting.) So he let her color all over herself with some highlighters while he finished the meeting. It was everywhere!! But I can't complain because he did the dishes after the shower. You win some! You lose some...


On her shirt! Says Tim: "Well, yeah, I watched her do it. But it was either that of a tantrum." (I was going to get mad, but I let her eat chap stick at Wal-mart on Wednesday to keep her quiet. Oops!)



She managed to get some on the paper ... and all over her hands. At least she's creative. After she added lemon bar goo to the mess on her hands, it was back in the bath.

Seriously, So Blessed

Blog satire gets me thinking...


So, a friend sent me a link to the following blog: seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com.

It is a satire making fun of a certain type of married Mormon women in Utah. I read it. There were some funny parts. But reading about it just made me as annoyed as meeting this kind of person. But the comments are pretty funny because some people don't realize that is it fake even though the "about me" section describes the person as a composite and she refers to her husband as the initials of 4 men that fit the mold. It's weird that someone would get on the blog of a person they don't know and then just start judging and commenting without really even getting the joke. I don't get it.

I think this blog does say something about blogging in general, though. As time goes on all new media will find new ways to fulfill certain comedic or dramatic or human needs that we have. This one is sort of a Saturday Night Live character for bloggers. I just think that is in interesting thing to think about.

I also want to take a minute to share the definition of satire: criticism to produce reform.

The goal of satire is to change something. Just a thought. I think we forget that sometimes. But trust me, if there is any part of this composite girl from the blog in me, I will remember it next time I act like her. Maybe it will stop me, and maybe it won't. But I think it is interesting to think about that find of effect within a new medium.

Anyway, check out this blog and use it to ponder the great media divides/expansions/changes/needs/purposes/ or whatever.

Social Penetration Theory

For years I have taught my students about social penetration theory, which basically says that relationships become more intimate when you share information about yourself. There is a lot more to the theory, but that is the main gist of it. As self-disclosure goes up (from both people) intimacy goes up.

In a different course today I had my media students consider how blogging affects -- proves or disproves -- social penetration theory. Remember the theory doesn't say "hanging out together makes friends feel closer." It says, "Sharing about yourself makes friends feel closer."

So, I think blogging is evidence that social penetration theory is true. Blogging might also have all kinds of positive and negative impacts or society and relationships, but at least in this case it proves the theory correct.

My UVSC students pointed out that the sharing has to be felt on both sides. I write, you read, you comment. You write, I read, I comment. It seems that this is the only appropriate way to use blogging to strengthen relationships, according to my UVSC students. But of course you can use Blogs to share information, make money, learn something, or whatever, and that would be different.

We also pointed out that blogs can be used to create pseudo relationships, which are one sided relationships in which one person feels connected to another because they know a lot about them, while the other person does not know the first person. For example, If were to run into Jon Peter Lewis at the airport, I would want to talk to him about his life and his time on American Idol Season 3. I might even get a little star struck. I would be showing that I have a pseudo relationship with him while he has no relationship with me.

In the case of Jon Peter Lewis, I might send my cute daughter to break the ice outside of Gate 54A at LAX. He, he, he.

Anyway, I guess my students decided that the blogisphere can show us multiple examples of how the underlying concepts in the social penetration theory are correct. Do some research. It's interesting.

Rate My Professors

So, I just set up this new blog, and I wanted to know if you could find it using a google search. My last blog was at Jillfellow.com, but it is missing. Long story. But when I searched, my blog did not come up... but look what did .... my students' comments about me on Ratemyprofessors.com. Nice. It makes me a little uncomfortable, but I'm trying to embrace it. I guess my issue is that I know students talk about me, but it feels more intense when it's circulated by mass media, you know? 

Check out this link to read what my students have to say about me:  http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=1085293