Yoga, Yoga Everywhere. Yoga Near and Far.

Deep thoughts on accepting responsibility for your role in every moment.

So, Yoga is huge. No, not like popular-huge, but huge like everywhere, omnipresent, in everything. Sometimes I get down on myself for not practicing a physical (breathing, poses ...) yoga everyday or all the time. Like reading the scriptures, I feel guilty when I skip it because I know that it has such a huge immediately positive effect on me. But whenever I read about yoga, I am overwhelmed once again with how little I know about it. Yoga is, in facy, everywhere.

It is everywhere because it is about the state of the heart. What we see as "yoga" are just different ways that people practice and try to get their heart in the right place. So, yoga is everywhere, and so now I don't have to feel guilty for skipping my asanas because there are many things that I can do to lead me closure to a "yoga heart" -- my words, not real. I used to joke that I did yoga standing still when I would put this peppermint oil on my temples and take some deep breaths during rush hour. I think I was right. My intension was to rebalance and refocus and to alleviate physical or mental pain. Mission accomplished -- Yoga standing still.

An article in Yoga Journal this month talked about accepting responsibility for your part in every moment, which will bring joy in the power of truth. When something goes wrong who do we blame? Next time its totally your fault, just embrace it. It's at least partly your fault. It's at least partly my fault. What does that mean about you today? tomorrow? What does it mean about this moment? Where can the truth of the moment take you?

Ironically, I guess I already knew this... for other people. When my students whined this year about not having the book for the first few reading assignments because they had not ordered it in time or the bookstore had run out, I had the whole class chant silently, "It's my fault. I don't have the book because it is my fault." Then I gave them a list of reasons it was there fault and what they could do about it. It starts with admitting it. If you think it is the bookstore's fault or the teacher's fault, you will not borrow the book from a friend; you will not photocopy the pages; you will not stay up late to get the assignment in on time because it's someone else's fault so why should you put in the effort? But if you don't move past the blame and get the work done, you miss out. You fail. You drop out or whatever, and I don't want that for my students. Some of them have been on that spiral for years.

So in the case of my students, I was trying to empower them to take control of their education and of their lives by admitting that they have power and control and at least some "fault" in every moment. It worked for a few. But I think I need to take my ideas inward. There is intensity and power in being honest in the moment and that is something that people practice when they do the asanas or postures that westerners know as "Yoga." The poses can not be done correctly if your body is out of balance or if you are not respecting your personal limitations. Yoga postures are about checking in with your body and your heart. Accepting the moment and making the next step.

I practice on the mat. I practice in the classroom. I practice as I mother. Who is responsible for this moment? What role do I play? What does that mean for today? For tomorrow?

In the article, Sally Kempton wrote, "The Blame frame is inherently dualistic: If it's not my fault, it is yours. If it is yours, it's not mine. You're the perpetrator. I'm the victim." But then their are people who feel they are always at fault. They take all the responsibility and this habit is just as untrue and out of balance and robs people of joy. We all contribute. We all exist in the space and in the moment, and truth always exists somewhere whether we accept it or not.

"I noticed that part of my imbalance came from my mind's search for a way not to blame myself," Kempton said. Maybe I create imbalance when I tell my students to say, "It is ALL your fault." Maybe I need to find more space for my contributions to their pain. But maybe there are too many of them, and I am not that far along in my yoga study. Dear Me.

As I get deeper into the world of yoga, I am impressed with the depth I see before me. I am impressed with how it fits into the Gospel of Jesus Christ so beautifully. I am impressed with myself and my ability to become something and someone who is ever changing and eventually forever at peace.

Christian Gyms

Hey, there has been some media coverage lately about gyms designed for Christians. Interesting. Here is a link. What do you think?

Christian Gyms Story in the New York Times

Refocused on Yoga and Hopefully Motivated for Future Inner Peace

A pain in my hip reminded me of the horribly destructive cycle I have in my life when I get healthy and feeling too good.

So the other day I was walking, and I noticed my hip was totally out of alignment. Within a few hours my back hurt, and I couldn't fall asleep. Everyone knows the saying, "Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it," and this pain issue is a constant cycle for me. It's very obvious, and still I kept ignoring it.

It goes like this: I get really into yoga and exercise because it is good for my body and makes me feel great. Then I get busy and stop doing it all because my body feels fine. Then something goes wrong in my body, and I do not notice for weeks until it all catches up to me with a headache so bad that I can barely move.

I go to the chiropractor and get one adjustment to start the mending process (and get my back freakin' bruised because he sucks at his job.) And then since the whole thing was this great wake up call, I get back into yoga, and the cycle starts all over again.

Well, I was at a Women's Expo a few weeks, and I talked to a holistic chiropractor. I told him my cycle, and how I need a more enlightened doctor for my office visit whenever this happens. He said to me, "Well, I'd rather treat your lifestyle instead of putting and Bandaid on it every few weeks." Ouch, he's right. A bruise to my ego.

I really do consider myself to me enlightened and holistic, but I guess that is only when it is convenient. So this time I was much better. I felt the pain in my hip and went to work on it right away. I did a yoga practice before bed, went for a walk the next morning and woke up early on a Saturday morning to attend my favorite mind bending yoga class at the Gold's Gym on 800 North in Orem, Utah. (It's so good that is transcends crappy gym yoga which is hard to do. )

I thought about the whole cycle a lot today because I am sore as heck from having to jump back into a yoga routine so quickly, but it is good for me. What was I thinking just saying, "That was nice, but I am fine now, again." Everything I know about yoga and taking care of your body says that it involves constant persistence and attention. I guess motivation is hard sometimes... for everything in life. School, work, motherhood, nutrition, correspondence, service to others and especially personal bans on horribly inappropriate TV shows that you love so much (like Grey's Anatomy.) It all takes a special and constant motivation that seems to fall in the crack of the couch when I'm busy watching an episode of Friends after a hard day of supporting my family. I bet that last sentence wouldn't sound so bitter if I hadn't taken the last month off from my routine of grounding myself in inner peace and love. Oops.

Afterthought: Syl Carson is a yogi in Provo who is incredibly enlightened and well trained. If I had $130 I would have headed straight for one of her Thai Yoga Messages (that comes complete with an amazing pep talk) when I noticed the pain in my hip. Syl is a huge source of inspiration in my life, and somedays just knowing she exists is enough to keep me focused and filled with peace. This is much like how I feel about my friend Lizza, who I rarely talk to but think about constantly for the life force that she is.

Syl Carson, White Mountain Yoga