Monday, September 22, 2008
Yoga, Yoga Everywhere. Yoga Near and Far.
Deep thoughts on accepting responsibility for your role in every moment.
So, Yoga is huge. No, not like popular-huge, but huge like everywhere, omnipresent, in everything. Sometimes I get down on myself for not practicing a physical (breathing, poses ...) yoga everyday or all the time. Like reading the scriptures, I feel guilty when I skip it because I know that it has such a huge immediately positive effect on me. But whenever I read about yoga, I am overwhelmed once again with how little I know about it. Yoga is, in facy, everywhere.
It is everywhere because it is about the state of the heart. What we see as "yoga" are just different ways that people practice and try to get their heart in the right place. So, yoga is everywhere, and so now I don't have to feel guilty for skipping my asanas because there are many things that I can do to lead me closure to a "yoga heart" -- my words, not real. I used to joke that I did yoga standing still when I would put this peppermint oil on my temples and take some deep breaths during rush hour. I think I was right. My intension was to rebalance and refocus and to alleviate physical or mental pain. Mission accomplished -- Yoga standing still.
An article in Yoga Journal this month talked about accepting responsibility for your part in every moment, which will bring joy in the power of truth. When something goes wrong who do we blame? Next time its totally your fault, just embrace it. It's at least partly your fault. It's at least partly my fault. What does that mean about you today? tomorrow? What does it mean about this moment? Where can the truth of the moment take you?
Ironically, I guess I already knew this... for other people. When my students whined this year about not having the book for the first few reading assignments because they had not ordered it in time or the bookstore had run out, I had the whole class chant silently, "It's my fault. I don't have the book because it is my fault." Then I gave them a list of reasons it was there fault and what they could do about it. It starts with admitting it. If you think it is the bookstore's fault or the teacher's fault, you will not borrow the book from a friend; you will not photocopy the pages; you will not stay up late to get the assignment in on time because it's someone else's fault so why should you put in the effort? But if you don't move past the blame and get the work done, you miss out. You fail. You drop out or whatever, and I don't want that for my students. Some of them have been on that spiral for years.
So in the case of my students, I was trying to empower them to take control of their education and of their lives by admitting that they have power and control and at least some "fault" in every moment. It worked for a few. But I think I need to take my ideas inward. There is intensity and power in being honest in the moment and that is something that people practice when they do the asanas or postures that westerners know as "Yoga." The poses can not be done correctly if your body is out of balance or if you are not respecting your personal limitations. Yoga postures are about checking in with your body and your heart. Accepting the moment and making the next step.
I practice on the mat. I practice in the classroom. I practice as I mother. Who is responsible for this moment? What role do I play? What does that mean for today? For tomorrow?
In the article, Sally Kempton wrote, "The Blame frame is inherently dualistic: If it's not my fault, it is yours. If it is yours, it's not mine. You're the perpetrator. I'm the victim." But then their are people who feel they are always at fault. They take all the responsibility and this habit is just as untrue and out of balance and robs people of joy. We all contribute. We all exist in the space and in the moment, and truth always exists somewhere whether we accept it or not.
"I noticed that part of my imbalance came from my mind's search for a way not to blame myself," Kempton said. Maybe I create imbalance when I tell my students to say, "It is ALL your fault." Maybe I need to find more space for my contributions to their pain. But maybe there are too many of them, and I am not that far along in my yoga study. Dear Me.
As I get deeper into the world of yoga, I am impressed with the depth I see before me. I am impressed with how it fits into the Gospel of Jesus Christ so beautifully. I am impressed with myself and my ability to become something and someone who is ever changing and eventually forever at peace.
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