Clomid.
It turns me into a freakin' crazy person. I get so angry about things. I was pretty calm on my vacation although did do my fair unfair share of snapping at my relatives (sorry). But now that I am home, the anger ball has returned. And maybe it is just me, but it seems like right when I went crazy, Quinn happen to turn 3 ... and go crazy. She whines, screams, and says "NO" all day long. It is either bad timing or all my fault. I am going to go on calling it bad timing because that makes me feel better. Irony is much easier to handle than being a crappy mother.
The thing about Clomid is that you only take it for 5 days a month if you are using it to try to get pregnant. During those 5 days, I am always very aware that I am taking it. I get hot flashes and a little angry, and when things go badly, I say, "Oh, yeah, the clomid." But the drug affects your mind and body for the entire month. I was feeling "off" during our trip, and it was not till I got home that I remembered why. This, of course, adds to the craziness. The whole two weeks I kept thinking, "Why am I so crazy? Did someone put sugar pills in my Zoloft pack. Seriously?" I felt a little better when I remembered the culprit, but then this continues my love hate relationship with the baby drugs.
Anyway, sorry to my husband. Sorry to Quinn. Sorry to my family. I am crazy. But my kids are so cute, so a mama's got to do what a mama's got to do. Come on, Number 3. Let's do this.
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hang in there, jill!! you can do it and you know it's worth it!
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