Sad News

Well, I found out today that I definitely lost the baby. It's so sad on so many levels, but what can you do?

I cried for an hour, and then I took my girls for ice cream and cupcakes for McKenna's birthday. Spending time with my girls was just what I needed. Perspective is important especially when life is sad. McKenna seemed so old today and was so much fun. I have a lot to be happy about.

Trying to get pregnant when you are moderately infertile is a big pain. It is not as emotional as it used to be because I've got two beauty queens to show for my efforts. My sister (who has lost 3 pregnancy in the last 5 years) put it best today when she said, "I just hate the feeling of having to start all over." Amen. That is how I feel. I just hate the feeling of having to start all over. And I also hate that I'll never feel the same about a positive pregnancy test again. It's the end of an era. More babies will come, but I think I lost a bit of my energy and innocence today. And so that, I believe, is the sad news.

But, of course, less innocents often equals more empathy, and that makes the world better in its own way. Perspective, again, ... I guess.