The 1 year visit

Holy horrible doctors appointment!

So, Baby Lizza does not walk, stand or crawl. We're been working on this and fixing everything we can through chiropractics, and she is getting a lot better, and so today actually she let me stand up up by the coach. Big victory!

But this story starts yesterday. It was Lizza's first birthday. Yay! As part of the celebration I so wisley thought, "I have a great idea! We can have her one year well check up today. We can talk to the doctor about how far she has come with her hip and put a collaborative plan together about how to move forward. YAY!" It made sense to me. But in hindsight I see that I was not really thinking in the world of reality. Oops.

So I got my princesses out of bed, put them all in cute birthday clothes, left the cupcakes to cool, and off we went to the "celebration of healing."

Well, that was pretty much where the celebrating ended.

After we got there, I stripped Lizza to the diaper as they told me to, and the medical assistant got all of Lizza's stats. Then, while I was holding her wrapped in a blanket, the doctor walked in. In the time we waited, Lizza has scratched her tummy and it broke out in a rash. (FYI: this is why she is ALWAYS in a onesie). The doctor noticed the rash right away. This is the rash all my children get when you take their onesie off. I treat it at home. It is not new to me. I am not an idiot. But she gave me a bit of the third degree -- out of genuine concern for sweet Lizza -- but still the third degree about what creams and lotions I use, when and why. This threw me off, and she wasn't listening to me.

Then she went right into pointing out that I have not brought Lizza for an appointment since she was 4 months. "Is there a reason for that?" she asked. I said, "No." This is where I went wrong because I did have a reason. I balance pros and cons, and I don't take my kids to appointments they don't need. She didn't need a 6 month check up. When she wouldn't stand or crawl, we called the doctor a one month ago to say she needed to be seen. On that call the nurse said, "Sounds like something for the 12 months visit." So I waited, and and here we were. But instead, though, I said, "No, reason, but we are here now." Awkward smile. From that point on I got the strong feeling that all of my baby's problems were going to be a direct relation to me missing her 6 month visit .... I was pretty much right.

After the Doctor evaluated Lizza, she sat me down to tell me she is delayed.

Again, I don't believe in well visits, so, "Yes, I know. That is why I am here ..."

Then she told me all the things wrong, and all the things I need to do. She did have some interesting perspectives. She is worried that's Lizza is basically tall and thin and her weight has gone down in the percentage for her age. I think from 40 percent to 25 percent. She wants to check her blood for muscle problems. She wants to get an xray of her hips to rule out hip displacia. She wants her to get more fat in her diet to help with neurological development, and she wants Lizza to have a full evaluation from a local early intervention specialist.

She also wants me to be a better mom who remembers to bring her baby to the doctor. (Too bad, lady.) It was lot of information. It came at me fast. It started to stress me out. Oh, and she called my baby "weak," (which she is not) and my mama bear response kicked in, and I wanted to scream at her.

All this information (except for "Weak baby") is fine. My problem is the doctor did not care or ask me what we have already done to help Lizza. She did not care or ask me how far Lizza has come. She didn't really listen to what we are feeding her or what she is eating. She didn't care that Lizza has only had 1 runny nose -- did you hear that Super Doctor? -- 1 runny nose!!! And she didn't ask me what I want for my child.

I guess she doesn't have to care. But why wouldn't she? I am the one in charge of this baby. I am the one that is going to take her to get the x-Ray. Why didn't she want to know if I could afford an x-ray? Why didn't she want to know if we have seen other doctors and what they thought? Seems like she is useless unless her treatment plan is in line with the mama's believe system. Right?

But here you have it .... here is where I am wrong, and I fully admit it. I would never walk out of a Chiropractors office super pissed because he did not give me shot to make it all better. So why do I walked out of a medical doctor's office all pissed off that she did not heal my child with love? She didn't sign up to be on my family's holistic medical team. She hung up a sign that says, "I am trained to heal with medicine!" I do want that from her; that is why we went. I wanted a medical perspective on this complicated situation. So, why do I demand so much?

In the end, I feel better about that fact that I DID get two of the three things I wanted. I did not get a naturpathic doctor (because I did not go to a naturopathic doctor), but I did get a medical opinion that Lizza should have an x-ray of her hip. And I got a referral to the specialist for evaluation and therapy if she needs it. Successful and horrible all at the same time.

After the appointment, I told Lindsay, that this experience was like being barfed on by a child who swallowed your wedding ring. First you are like, "Ah, what the heck. I am covered in throw up!!" And then you realize, "Oh, wait. Did she throw up the ring? Sweet! I found my ring!" You had to get covered in puke, but you did get what you were looking for.

In my life I am trying hard to use all the resources around me to create healing and peace in my life. Doctors couldn't fix my stomach problems for years, and then I changed my diet. Problem solved. So for me this showed me that I need more resources. I am not going to cut out medical doctors; I don't want fewer resources. I genuinely want to use all the resources around me. But that means valuing and understanding what all of these resources are. If I go to an herbologist, she is not going to give me Tylenol. The chiropractor can not do my daily yoga practice for me, and the pediatrician does not need to send me home with warm fuzzies. I need to remember this.

So, Lizza is moving forward ... in theory not literally. Hehe. I am grateful to have this new doctor on our team. I know she is giving me everything she has to offer. It is my job as the mama to take what we need and leave what we don't and help my child.

I made the appointment for the evaluation, and I will continue to consider getting the X-ray. I will try to add more fat to her diet. I am going to review everything with the pediatric chiropractor and get his thoughts and check the results of the evaluation ... And I am going to put the cream for the rash in the drawer and never use it.

That is the plan for now, people. Onward! And upward ... and hopefully on our feet soon : )