It's not about me anymore, and it feels amazing.
Something has changed and suddenly I am living much more in the moment
and with much more peace. My instinct is now to give my children so much
more space to be children than I ever did before, and it is changing
Christmas for me and for them. Guess how I decorated my tree this year? I
didn't! I set out all the ornaments a few days ago. I let my 6, 4, and 2
year olds play with them, break a few, make dolls houses out of them,
and then once the tree was up today, I said, "Go for it! Put the
ornaments wherever you want?" There was no, "No, no, there is already
one there!" "No, no, that one is too heavy!" "No, no, we don't need any
on the back." It was all -- "Awesome, how pretty!!" They shared, they
helped each other, they smiled for pics when asked to .... it was so
much more fun. I did some rearranging when it was over, but they were
cool with it. My nagging levels have really decreased, and I think it
makes everyone in our house happier -- most of all -- ME!
I
am starting to say things like, "It's just stuff" and "try not to drop
it, but it's ok if it breaks." I let Lizza put Mary and Joseph and the
baby Jesus facing a wall. I think part of my break through is based on
me having only half of my Christmas stuff with me. The other half is
lost in a storage unit vortex. It suddenly just puts things in
perspective -- if I don't need all the decorations every year, then
maybe I don't need all the decorations to last forever either.
I'm
so grateful for my kids and so excited to make magic for them this
year. I'm working on a calendar for the month so I don't draw a blank
everyday on fun activities and ideas. I'm excited to have friends over
but also really excited to just be home with Tim and my girls. I feel
more steady than I ever have before. Merry Christmas! (War is over ... )
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