What's in a Name?

Years before I had children a friend went on a rant to me about how all kids deserve their OWN name. She didn't give her kids names that came from anywhere special. She found it empowering that a child could pave a new path for a new name. I was fine with her choice, but I found it a little sad.

We went on to have 4 children, and basically did the opposite thing. We gave each child the first name of a dear loved one. Now that they are all here and named, I feel very confident we made a great choice in disagreeing with this friend.

We chose to give the top stop in our children's names to people who exhibit qualities and capacities for love that we found extra ordinary and that especially touched our lives at the time the child was born. Although we'd love to raise well-balanced doctors and American presidents, we found that the one trait that truly stands out to us in the people we admire is how they choose to love others. And we choose to pass THAT ambition on to the kids first. First thing. First name.

I got to talk to McKenna about this when I got home from the hospital. I thanked her for being the only one of my babies that didn't try to kill me when she or he was born. Lol And then we talked about what a special addition she was to our family in a time when we needed love and peace and forgiveness. We talked about how while I was pregnant Aunt Avery got come to live with us, and then I got to explain to her that Tim's sister Avery is more like the stories of Jesus than anyone we've ever known. She sacrifices for others as a first response and offers love, forgiveness, hope and charity as if there are no other options. I guess our Avery McKenna has been thinking about this all week, because she keeps asking me to tell her how Avery is like Jesus and why we named her Avery. And that's a story I'll never get tired of telling. To me that's a story that transcends any Sunday school lessons or bible class. And it means more than having your "own" name.

This week we named our last angel baby Brandon Charles Fellow. And it was not a hard decision once we looked into his eyes and instantly loved him forever. Little B or Charlie is named after two people who have changed Tim's life with their love and loyalty. The Brandon's -- Brandon Purdie and Brandon Cummings -- have taught Tim what friendship is and how to use it. They are ever patient in listening and sharing, and they are loyal without fault. Strong and kind. Open minded with huge open hearts. They love us and our children and have for a decade. Men who know how to love and are open about that being important to them. Men who miss their wives and children while they are at work each day. And -- of course -- men who are both drummers. Our girls have grown up with the Brandon's and know very specifically how special they are to us. It is also so special that Tim and I have been around to watch Brandon Cummings grow up from his high school graduation straight up through his marriage and first child who turned one last month. And I must add that our love for Brandon Purdie also includes our love for the whole Purdie family -- especially his wife Lindsay who is my best friend and another person who teaches us about love everyday. I have always found it yet another testament to Brandon Purdie that he is passionately loved by one of the most amazing women in the world.

We strongly considered naming B -- Charles Benton Fellow instead of Brandon. Benton is an important family name and the name of our relatives that helped found Ouray, Colorado. Our homesickness for Colorado was really pushing us toward this name. But right after Charlie was born -- after I stopped crying from the traumatic birth and finally felt safe to love and cherish my little man -- we knew that Charlie deserved to be givin a legacy of love and loyalty from real people who have touched our lives NOW and will touch his life personally. Charlie deserved that extra love and that hope that he too will change people's lives with love and friendship. What more could we ask of him? What more could we want for him? So Brandon it is, and we love it.

I've talked endlessly in other posts about my love for my sister and my awe for her ability to go over the top to show love in bold and loud ways right when people and her family need it most. She's no Jesus and doesn't need to be. Her love is confident and bright, and like the other namesakes it never occurs to her not to give the love once she's decided on it. And we feel grateful that she had chosen to constantly give that love to our family. She let's love move her to over do things so that people not only get a box or chocolates to lift them when they are sad, but they get every box in the store which makes them laugh and then never doubt she'd go to the moon for them. Our Kristie Quinn Fellow watches aunt Kristie, and she takes pride in being part of the Kristie team. The partnership is real and big to her. And she loves it.

And finally the last girl in our family is named after a person who not only has a love of people but a passion for the future of mankind. A desire to have all people heal and grow and connect to a deeper, more honest, more joyful part of themselves. The love we feel come from Aunt Lizza transcends the love she gives to just our family and refocuses us all -- if we choose to listen -- to the people around us and the importance of supporting all people on their journey. She has depth and beauty that is rarely matched.

So there you have it. We hoped to gift our children with qualities we might not quite have for ourselves yet. And I think we found a pretty great way to do it. We also selfishly seals the deal that these 5 people and the people they love are not to leave our lives anytime soon.

Did you hear that Kristie, Avery, Lizza, Brandon, Brandon? We are keeping you FOREVER. Deal with it! And thanks for sharing your names and your love with us.