Band of Oils

** Caution: This post discusses something that is normally sold by multilevel marketing companies. The official party line of the Fellow family remains that we do not support or encourage multilevel marketing of any kind. Plainly -- We hate multilevel marketing and believe that it is a shifty way to make money and an inappropriate way to interact with family and friends. With that said, I did not feel pressured or marketed to in any way in this situation, and so the topic is, therefore, safe to blog about.

I've been thinking about essential oils about once a month for a few years. They confuse me, and the minute people talk about them, the oils start to sound like magic pills. I grow skeptical. But I didn't come to earth with the strongest body; I gain weight, I don't get pregnant, I get knee and back aches, I have crappy teeth, I get depressed, I have horrible intestines, and I am constantly trying to feel better. So I don't have an excuse not to try essential oils. A few years ago I realized that the answer to my body is not traditional doctors or medicine. I have a message therapist/ magic chiropractor that has fixed a lot of my woes. I use yoga for a lot of physical and emotional pain, and I am convinced that my neti pot saved me from succumbing to the swine flu.

So, it comes down to this: I got an email from Lizza about an essential oils party.

I hate "parties," and I hate the entire concept of multi-level marketing. But I trust Lizza to the core of my soul, and I knew it was time I start learning about essential oils. I went to the party, and fell in love with the possibility of treating my depression, bladder, stomach, intestines, and a few other pains with oils instead of drugs.

It is going to be a long process. I will have to do a lot of trial and error. I'll probably start a blog to track my progress and to keep everything straight. And, of course, I'll have to work the graveyard shift at a Seven Eleven to pay for it all, but I think it is worth it.

Some people don't have pain. Their bodies function the way they should. Other people don't care about the pain and the long term effects of things. But I am not in this boat. If I want to feel 100 percent, have 100 babies, write 100 books, change the world and be President, I have to have continued control over my ills. That is what I want for myself.

So, here starts Band of Oils: The Essential Oil Experiment. I'll get a new blog up and running in a few days, but here is what I know so far.

1. I still hate multilevel marketing with a passion. Why can't this oil company just open a freaking store with smart sales people who work on commission? They could offer frequent buyer discount cards like Cafe Rio. What's the problem? It works for me.

2. Tim mocked me to no end as I got only half way through my party/ oil story. So I called Lindsay, and she is more than happy to be my buddy and take this journal with me.

3. One thing that has always stressed me out about essential oils is that the bottles are small and expensive. I think I have a phobia that they will spill. Well, I feel better now because at the party I saw that they have a little cap on them that basically allows only one or two drops to come out at a time. Suddenly the whole thing felt more doable -- just because of the little cap. Simple minds. Simple pleasures.

4. For some reason, I totally believe that taking the oils like a pill in a little capsule will heal me like medicine but putting them on my feet or something like that is all witch craft. It is just a block in my thinking, so that is something I will have to learn more about and work on.

5. I bought my first 2 oils yesterday. I bought Lemon for about $10, and Lizza bought me Lavender for about $21. Lizza ordered them online, and I picked them up at DoTerra in Orem a few hours later on my way more from work. The oils cost more if I buy them as a customer of Lizza's as opposed to buying them on Lizza's account.

6. I ingested my first drops of oil when I got home. I put a drop of Lavender and a drop of Lemon into an oz. of orange juice. Dear me. I could taste that lavender .... for the rest of the day. I was burping lavender all night. It took a giant slice of chocolate mousse cheesecake to make it go away. But I thought it was funny, and it reminded me of my new quest for several hours.

7. I had a root canal early in the week. That area of my mouth is starting to hurt again. I think there is something wrong with another tooth, and I think my jaw is still mad about the root canal. I really do not want more root canals, so I thought I would try some oils. I rubbed a little Lemon oil right on the gums in that area. Not sure if it will help. I am going to do it two times a day for a few days and see that the effect is. Of course, my mouth might have felt better in a few days anyway, but this pain it seeming different than what I have felt in the past after a big root canal. So I think it is a fair test.

8. Today I tried rubbing Lavender on the bottom of my feet. I put it on the soft part above the heel because those are the reflexology points for the stomach, colon and intestines. We'll see. I could use a good trip to the ladies' room, but I think a big bowl of corn could take care of that too.

9. Quinn has already started asking about the oils. Today I pretended to put some on my finger and then on her tooth like she asked. Worked like a charm, and I think her "tooth ache" feels better.