Solving vs Loving

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." -- Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (Finding Joy in the Journey, October 2008, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/finding-joy-in-the-journey?lang=eng)

A few weeks ago, I heard this quote for the first time. "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." I was overwhelmed with how good with quote made me feel. So, I decided to embrace it with full force. I have a goal in my life right now to adopt this ideas and make it the legacy of my life. Problems vs People? Solving vs Loving? I think this is something I can do. Sometimes new goals can be really stressful or make people feel guilty or small because they can never measure up. But this goal makes me feel peaceful and excited. It feels like validation for who I am and how I was made. I feel relieved and happy and uplifted when I decide that this is true. Do I always do it? No way. In this very moment, I will mostly likely choose writing this essay as the problem to solved and not hear my children fighting or not run when they need me. I might even yell. Onward, people. I'm human. So it is not the success of this idea what fills my soul with peace. Again, it is just the knowledge that it is true. It is true that people and their emotions are more important that being right, than fixing things, than perfect health, than getting a good deal, than an immaculate kitchen, than knowing everything, than living forever, than letters behind your name, than lots of money, or any of the other things that pull our attention and brings us many high highs and low lows. People. I'll admit that this is especially easy for me to buy into because people are my thing. A few years ago when Tim and I decided to rethink our direction, pick new hobbies, and even move away, the conclusions were always simple. Tim needs certain spaces to find piece (like mountains or open places), and I just need a person to talk to. As long as he agrees to be that person, I told him we can go live in the middle of nowhere. (It helps that no matter where I am, I have to spend 20 hours a week talking to great people on the phone for my job.) So, it is in me. People. Loving them. Knowing them. Forgiving them. Understanding them. I am not perfect at it, but it is definitely in my skill set where other things -- say exactness, perfection, engineering, and cleaning -- are not even in my view.

I want to live my life and remember always that people need to be loved and there is nothing more important than that. For me it is a little bit of a cop out. "I know my kids smell a little. But this week love was more important than baths." And I know many a person skilled in exactness will say, "But don't you show your love for them by cleaning them and caring for them and making sure they are on a schedule that makes them feel safe ... and Blah, Blah, Blah." It is true. And it is also really important to remember that everyone shows love differently. Maybe this quote is just a great way to keep us all focused. No matter what we are doing, we need to make other people our focus. Give away our love in anyway we can. Maybe the "problems" represent ourselves, and the "love" represents others. Or maybe we need to remember that problems are small and love is big. However you interpret it, I think it is clear that more of us can take a little energy from our problems and use it for someone else. We can give more love and have more love.

Well, I'm going give it try. I am going to feel more validated in all my failings to clean or complete, and I am going to try to excited about all my extra time to stop and hug my kids or kiss that boo-boo for a few seconds longer or listen one more time to that description of a 3-year-olds art project.

P. S. I plan to print this large and display it as a cheesy focal point of our new home. And just for the record I am, of course, accepting gifts with this quote on it. Mostly from Etsy please to support the arts. Come on people, let's think pillows and signs  --  not so much bumper stickers or t-shirts.
Thanks.

Side Note: This commitment is a little like my commitment to not yell. I am normal, and so I do, in fact, yell at my kids. But once I decided that yelling is wrong, it changed yelling for me. I apologize every time I yell, and I constantly look for ways to grow and learn so that I have communication and parenting tools that are appropriate, fair, and will actually work. Yelling is wrong. I would hate anyone who yelled at me. I feel badly when I yell. So everytime I try to repent, and then I move on with a resolve to be better. Choosing to focus more on people is the same way. Choosing people is right. So when I forget to do it or when I make a wrong choice, I plan to try to make it right.

Final side note: I am just going to throw it out there. You know that brand for children, "Safety First"? I think that is bunk. There are so many things more important than safety. I think that is why the TSA makes me cringe. However, I AM pro gun control, so I am not sure how that all fits together. But, in the end, I do not believe in Safety First. I hear people yell LOUDLY at their children for minor safety issues. That seems crazy to me. Yell, if you must, but you are probably wrong.