Sunday, December 28, 2014

4 months

4 months old today!! Such a laugher. Such a love. 




I thought it would feel settling to know this baby was my last. I thought it would help me say good bye to the process, to the rituals, habits, milestones. But it doesn't. It makes me feel meaningless. What kind of a person would choose to say good bye to the beauty, to the magic, to their miracle? I know there are reason for me and for everyone. But it's sad for me. I feel anxious and stressed .... Like if I don't soak it all in now, it's home forever. That seems painful and real to me. 

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