"Hey, look at that. I made a little Mormon!" (And so did Lindsay)

Two amazing things happened yesterday.

First, and most importantly, my Lindsay gave birth to Baby Bennett Roger Purdie (Benny.) I am off to go see them in a few minutes, and I can barely wait! Congratulations, Lindsay!

Also, Lindsay, I hate you ... for not taring at all and telling me you "feel great" this morning after delivering a nearly 9 lb baby just hours before. Love and and hate are very close, of course.

Secondly, and very special to me, it was my Mormon anniversary yesterday. I've been officially Mormon now 11 years, and as I told my big sister yesterday, I am going strong ... except for the maternity swearing, but I am only human, right?

For the first several years of celebrating my Mormon birthday, I would go to the Temple to renew my baptismal covenants (kind of.) But as we have been married for awhile now, we try to celebrate in different ways. Last year went to the Temple and did sealings for the first time. It was like getting married over and over again for an hour, and we loved it.

This year, I forgot to get a sitter, so the day was about to go by unnoticed, but instead we made a big night of it. We headed to SLC to meet up with Bridget, Ben and little Paige. Bridget was my very first Mormon friend, so I owe her a lot, and it was really cool to celebrate together. We didn't get all cheesy or anything, but it was nice to be together.

We met up at Temple Square in Salt Lake. Why not to do Mormon things to celebrate a Mormon day, right?




Tim, Quinn and I got there early and ran around the temple. Quinn loved it. I loved it too. I know she doesn't understand a whole lot about God yet, but it was a very peaceful feeling to see her enjoying her first visit to a place that has so much meaning to us as a family.




And I couldn't help but think, "Hey, look at that. I made a little Mormon!"

It is very comforting to know that this is one area of our lives that is always peaceful and agreed upon (within reason, of course.) Our marriage was created on this path, and our kids will get to feel that spiritual comfort and security forever... and hopefully go on to make little Mormons of their own some day. (Making Mormons is the best!)





(When you are out with Quinn, you have to stop for horses at all costs AND to say, "Hey, look ... a bus!" everytime one drives by. That is just our standard operating procedure. Here is our horse pics. We also saw a LOT of buses!)


After we met up with the Reeds, we went to the History of Church History and Art. We planned to go straight to the children's exhibit, but we probably could have skipped it because the girls loved everything at the museum so much. Mostly they loved running around and touching things they were not supposed to touch.


(The curator said they have to repaint Moroni's toes ALL the time because little Paiges and Quinns LOVE to touch him. Moroni is the name of the Angel who plays the trumpet at the top of most LDS Temples. He's important for lots of reasons, but mostly he helped preserve the Book of Mormon through history.)


(Looking at the Temple from inside the museum.)


My favorite was when tiny Paige climbed behind the bar of a big handcart and tried to push it. So funny!



And much like how I like to copy Bridget, Quinn had to give it a try. Look at our little modern pioneers!! (Large groups of Mormons used these handcarts to walk from the midwest to the Salt Lake Valley. They are a Mormon classic item.)




When we got to the exhibit, the girls wanted to stay in the first area, which was set up like a hospital baby nursery. It is supposed to represent the part of the song, "I am a Child of God" that says, "He has sent me here..." (like from heaven to earth...get it?) They loved dressing and feeding the babies, and putting them to sleep.






(She also fed herself with a baby's bottle...)

Quinn found some other Mormon things to do, too. She found a puzzle on the wall there you look at pictures of Mormons doing Mormon things. What could be more fun, right?









(Magnets help the family car get from the house to the church and the temple.... classic!)


She found the baby Jesus, too, but she preferred the baby sheep. (In the pic you can see her saying, "SHHHHHeep.")





And my personal favorite: She held on to this iron rod and walked on the "straight and narrow path" from Lehi's dream in the Book of Mormon. The path represents obedience to the gospel throughout your life. But she got bored quickly and had more fun jumping OFF the path. Should I be worried?




(Getting ready to jump!!!)


We ended the night with dinner at Tucci's in Salt Lake. The food was average, but the service was top notch and worth the money. They treated us like Kings and Queens, welcomed two 2-year-olds with open arms and gave us plenty of time and space to catch up and hang out.

Being Mormon is fun. You should try it.

On a much happier note... A Baby Shower!

So, the other night my girlfriends and I were ditching a church activity and talking in the car about everything from make-up to baby names. They all seem to follow at least one stranger's blogs because the person posts all about the amazing crafts they sell and parties they throw... not my style... and they know it ... so we had a good laugh about it. When I told Melissa this morning that I was going to take pictures of the big event I threw for my dear friend Lindsay, she reminded me to BLOG ABOUT IT! So, here is the event ... Jill style ... the successes and the failures!


It started out as a Costco style menu -- easy to do, but kind of price for a one man show. I was off to buy the goods on Thursday, shoes on and all, when I noticed I only had $26 left in my bank account. New plan.

I rewrote the menu pretty fast. Have you ever spent less than $26 at Costco?

I decided to use this poor-woman's chance to decorate with food by making some pretty cakes. I baked for days, and this --Zoloft and all -- is what I came up with.




The colors were light blue and green. Here is the main food table complete with three cakes, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, chips and salsa (at the new mom's request) and - my personal favorite - ranch dip and veggies.





There were SUPPOSED TO BE 4 cakes. It was supposed to be a circle, two squares and a triangle. As you can see, the triangle didn't survive!!





Rest in Peace my little cake...





On to some successes... my clothes line with onesies turned out much better than the triangle cake.





For the sake of record keeping, here is the punch table. A punch bowl with Country Time lemonade, ice, frozen blueberries, and a few lemon slices.





Already dilated to a 4 1/2 ... Lindsay was ready for the party to start... and end... We've been joking for days that she only needed to keep that baby in until 3 p.m. on Saturday. Isn't she beautiful? Her baby Bennett and my new baby girl will only be a few months apart. We are so excited.





And when all was said and done by 3 p.m. Saturday, Lindsay had seen tons of people she loves, celebrated this new baby, and really collected some cute new stuff. One of my favorite gifts was the blanket in this picture. It was embroidered with "Bennett Roger." It came with burp clothes that said, "Benny." Loved them!

Love Lindsay! Loved throwing her a shower!


P.S. After everyone left, Tim brought Quinn home from their "date." I had suggested he take her to an indoor play place. He made other plans that apparently bored Quinn (A business meeting.) So he let her color all over herself with some highlighters while he finished the meeting. It was everywhere!! But I can't complain because he did the dishes after the shower. You win some! You lose some...


On her shirt! Says Tim: "Well, yeah, I watched her do it. But it was either that of a tantrum." (I was going to get mad, but I let her eat chap stick at Wal-mart on Wednesday to keep her quiet. Oops!)



She managed to get some on the paper ... and all over her hands. At least she's creative. After she added lemon bar goo to the mess on her hands, it was back in the bath.

Infertility: Who do you talk to?

Warning: Men hate to hear about Fertility, so if you're reading... you've been warned and should just stop reading.


So, ladies, as most of you know I am totally laking in the fertility side of life. Ever notice that we hear so much more about fertile Myrtle and not nearly enough about the pains and successes of the rest of us?

I get it. It's personal and sad, and we think we're alone. But does it have to be this way? I think the silence just perpetuates the sadness.

I've been a lot better during this round of infertility than I was the first time when I turned into a complete crazy person, but I still have hard days. And I still find it fascinating that this is the only issue in my life that is hard to find the right person to talk to about.

My husband does what he can, but as I have said... he is no woman when it comes to talking and sharing.

And all my friends are in their child-baring years like me, which just causes a lot of chances for awkward moments.

It goes like this: You know I'm trying. I know you know. You get pregnant... it's a good thing I didn't tell you how I really feel. Now that I never shared, I can just drop off a gift and smile real big and maybe it will make everything go by smoothly.

Or how about this? What if I decide you are the one to share with? I finally hit the wall, and you are there. I tell you exactly how badly I hurt. You cry. I cry, and the next day, Yeah!, you're pregnant. Looks like I'll find a new confidant because it is just weird for both of us now.

Or even worse, after my big break down and my vulnerable moment.... Yeah!!! I' pregnant, and now I just feel like a big baby. Now I showed you how crazy I really am for nothing.

None of those options seems worth it, so we just keep quiet.

But whenever I need to talk, all of these scenarios run through my head, and I feel like I have no one.

I'm luckier than most because I have an open personality, and I have a few best friends who are honest about these ackwardnesses. Bridget just came out and told me one day that if I got pregnant, I should not expect her to be happy right away (as she geared up to try again after her two miscarriages.) And my dear Lindsay sat me down after I had been trying to get pregnant for 5 horrible months and told me she was going to try for number two. She told me it was ok to cry. I did ... in front of her and at home. I cried before she got pregnant (the next day) and after. And I will always be grateful for the honesty and love of these two close friends.

But it still doesn't make the problem go away. Who should you talk to? Who will always be there?

My mom thinks I'm too poor to have another baby, so she won't really be listening if I chose to talk to her. My sister who is the best listener I know is having a baby on Wednesday, and I believe with all my soul that she should not have to listen or care about me right now. Plus, she is fertile as hell and can't really understand.

Then anyone you choose is probably going to say something like, "Oh, the minute you stop worrying about it, you'll get pregnant," "It just takes time" or "Oh, you'll probably get pregnant next month."

And there is always the added problem (which isn't really a problem in the end) that for most women with fertility issues, they actually could get pregnant "next month," and since you know that, it is hard to open up. You just wait. And wait.

But eventually, even if it is only for a moment each month, you will hit the wall. You are not wired to keep in this much pain, which is one of the reasons why, of course, you turn into a crazy person.

So, I don't have a complete solution, but I do have some ideas, friends.

Old people and strangers. This is who you should talk to.

They don't have to be that old, but women who are no longer having children can be great to talk to. Now, a lot of them aren't, so be careful. But a lot of them are.

One time on a horrible day, I ended up at my neighbor's house. She's an older women who has several children raised and out of the house. I was at her house to pick up a check for a neighborhood event, and I started asking her questions about the pictures on her wall. She pointed to her kids and starting telling me their ages. There was a 6 year gap from one child until her pair of twin girls. She gently and subtly let me know that the pain of those 6 years was nearly unbearable, and that she sees her twins as the miracle that healed a huge part of her heart.

A few days later a little cat walked into my life and (no joke) because of that talk with Gretal, I was able to see the healing powers in that miracle. I completely changed my life and perspective.

For the next several months, I knew that Gretal was there across the street, and that if I hit the wall, I could go open up to her. I never did. I never needed too, and I think it was because I knew she was an option for me. I wasn't alone.

Just yesterday, I talked to my husband's aunt about her own years of baby making. She had her fair share of trouble. She is not super emotional, but, again, I knew that if I needed to talk at a later time, she will be there.

Strangers are great, too, because they tend to go away. They can be there in the moment, and they can't be there to get pregnant or judge you or gossip about you the next day.

They don't always know what they are talking about, but when you find the right one, they are Golden. I met a friend a few weeks ago on plane who had the same problems I did getting pregnant with her first. We both loved to talk it out and to work through some of the emotion that was still lingering.

I ask strangers all kinds of questions. If they have kids ages 10 and 3, I ask something like, "That is interesting. Did you choose that age difference or was that how life workout for you?" I love the peace and strength I get from their answers, and I find that just like I need to talk, so do they.

Obviously, fertility is huge. I have tons to say about the process, the worry, the reasons, the logic, the medicine and the gospel, but that is all for another day.

In the meantime, here are a few sites that offer places to talk and get more information:
Two of Us for Now: Web site for infertile Mormon couples
Fertility Plus: information from patients for patients
Resolve: A national organization that I am thinking of volunteering with




Quinn at 10 months. My miracle and my inspiration.