Inner Peace

About two weeks ago, I got a pain in my back that was horrifying. At first it felt like a slight pain I used to notice when I would lay in a hard surface on my back. I mentioned it to a few chiropractors, but only in passing, and they didn't fix it. But this pain was worse and came with a vengeance. I cried for a day and tried to get I to a doctor. One Dr canceled my appointment, and the other acted big and important and then did not fix me. I have it the weekend, and I got worse. Couldn't take deep breaths, couldn't lay down, couldn't sleep, couldn't sit in a chair. These are things that are pretty vital to the life of a pregnant woman! On Monday I got discouraged again and found another dr. This guy was Better and paid better attention. He said it would take him at least 3 days of treatments to fix it. And the week went on. I explained in another post that through the pain some of these days were better than norm days because they slowed me down and helped me get in a better, slower, more loving rhythm with my kids. I'm really grateful for that. At the end of 4 days -- the defeated doctor apologized that he can not help me. I panicked and cried for the rest of the day. The pain was crushing me as stealing my nesting time and relaxing time as I prep for my last baby to join me.

Alas, this are better this week. The pain is the same and sometimes worse. However, I spent the weekend healing in other ways. I pulled together my network of energy mindful friends, faithful friends, a living husband, and new friends. I took time to ponder my fears, worries, and regrets. I looked at diet and essential oils and decided to stop feeling guilty about taking a pain pill when I absolutely have to. I have a list of a few more options, and I have ore hope that instead of this back pain hurting the birth of my baby that the birth of my baby will heal me.

So inner piece is the route I am taking for now. It's mostly out of no other options. But I am pretty grateful to be forced to this place. A place of calm. A place of slowing down. A place of healing from the inside. Pretty powerful.

Thank you so much to the people who helped this weekend. I'd be lost without you and in so much pain.