Outsiders in my Nest

There is nothing WRONG with the neighbors. It's me. I get that.

Our neighbors have 5 kids that all act about my kids ages. They are home schooled but pretty normal. My kids worship them and run to me multiple times a day I report where these crazy kids are and what they are doing. And if, heaven forbid, the neighbors go somewhere, my kids sit and brood and pine for their return. In the meantime I can barely hold things together at home and technically I don't have anything better to offer my kids right now than the neighbors do. Plus, once they latch on and make it over to the neighbors yard or house, I lose ALL control because -- let's be real -- I'm not getting up! (Until September)

At first I used it to my advantage -- i set morning rules and chores that everyone does BEFORE they get to go outside. Worked great. House looks awesome. But now I feel like I am just losing control.

At first they would sit in the neighbor's porch and do crafts and it was then rainbow loom and then now it turns out they spent yesterday watching their neighbors play Mind Craft on a computer!

Again, this is all clearly my fault -- but my vision is hazy -- and I can't seem to fix it without getting really angry. I don't want to be out and about all the time, I don't want them at the neighbors, I don't want them in MY house. But if I send my kids out to play ... Boom ... Neighbors. We have 3 acres -- you'd think we'd get some alone time!

So then last night I told the kids today is a family day to get ready for school to start. I also told them we are going to bed early. I even took them to dinner to get them away from the house. After I put them to bed, the neighbor kids lurked around my house for an hour, and some of my children kept creeping to a window to say hi. I was furious.

Overreacting, yes, and furious.


I had to explain to these kids 3 or 4 times lady night that my kids were in bed so ear to home. An oblivious 8 year old started tell me how it is now HIS bed time blah, blah, blah. I "politely" explained that I could not care less about his bed time -- ours is 7 -- go home.

As I said to a friend this morning -- I am very nesty, nesty right now getting our home and family ready for baby. So get out of my NEST, damn it! But aside from being tired, I have guilt that I am not giving my kids what they need right now. I also have guilt that I can't remember how I SHOULD be engaging with them if I did have the energy. What do I want for them? How can I teach them? What should I teach them? It's deeper than lurking neighbors. I know that.

BUT then at 7:20 this morning while we were sitting together for breakfast -- the 5 year old was circling our house and putting her face of our glass. Later I heard noises at the back door -- when all my kids where with me -- it was a neighbor letting our cat. Ahhhh!

So, I've got some work to do. I've got
Competition for their time and attention -- which I will have forever, of course, it's just that this competition it lurking dangerously close to my empty nursery and making my skin crawl.

So, here is my more focused and honest list of things I need to do to fix this problem:

1) I've GOT to calm down
2) I've got to plan thing for my kids to do as a family or other goals to finish (like reading) before they play outside
3) I've got to be less lazy and know where my kids are
4) I've got to be patient and then take my polite list of concerns to the mom. I'm sure my kids are doing these things at HER house -- and she's been pretty cool about having the same rules I do.
5) deep breaths -- more love
6) Inclusive attitude

How did I do? Good list?

With me luck!